writing

Journal, Dec. 18

I’m in a strange spot today. Made a stupid mistake with the first post of my novel. That should be resolved and the prologue should be up here this evening. Also, I’m starting to think about my next poetry collection. Thinking about poetry always puts me in a weird mindset.

Another thing that’s put me in an odd mood is I picked up my oldest manuscript yesterday to finally finish the last chapter. By “oldest”, I mean like I stopped working on it in October to prepare for NaNo. Still, it’s a special novel to me, and it’s really exciting to be working on it again. It’s actually exciting to be working on anything again. At the end of November, I only had about 25k words done of the novel I was working on. Turns out that’s fine, since I came up with a totally different direction for the story than it was going in. Good stuff.

Adding to the strangeness is being stuck in a job where everyone hates one another. It’s a small team, but half of them have been on it for 6+ years. There’s a lot of who-touched-my-cheese and insecurity, and it seems to come out often in the form of sabotage. I’m doing my best to claw my way out of this pit, but it’s not looking good at the moment. I even put together a team pizza party for the holidays, but people are saying they won’t go if certain others show up. It kind of feels like I’m back in high school.

That and the fact that I’m no longer able to advertise my books on fb is making things rough. I wasn’t able to finish my third novel in time for November, didn’t finish 50k of the next in November, and have no poetry to show at all since Gourd came out. Preorders for my books are down to next to nothing.

It’s a whole lot of change, I think, that’s causing my frustration. Not all of it is bad, but most of it isn’t looking good. I’m trying my best to trudge forward and hold onto my positive outlook, but I know that’s not always necessary for things to turn back in the right direction.

One thing I can say is that as soon as the final chapter to this novel is done, I’m shopping around hardcore for agents. I’ve had one rejection so far, which is a great milestone! A blog I read some time ago made a cool point about shooting for rejections rather than acceptance. It’s inspired me to set the goal of 50 rejections for my novel next year. Maybe I’ll shoot for 50 more with my next one, too.

I suppose I feel as though things are strange because I don’t know exactly how to move forward with my writing career. The end goal is to be able to support my self on writing, but I know how horrible it is to dream about that. We’ll see, though. I’d like to branch out to audiobooks and screen plays. If I can diversify, something’s bound to take off. The challenge then is being happy with what the masses select from my works. A lot of posts I see talk about diversifying their portfolio and exploiting whatever takes off.

I don’t want to automatically start writing a series of novels. If I’m not inspired to do it, it’s not worth it. Whatever. Enough rambling for today. I’m going to get back to writing poetry, finish the novel manuscript, then move on to the next one. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to put out two novels and a poetry collection, which would be a good year for me.

 

Adios, ya’ll. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment if anything here piques your interest.

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